Joyful and overwhelmed. I never quite knew it was possible to be both at the same time, but here I am. Behind with my blog, missing coffee breaks with my friends, and sitting at a laptop with my cell on one side and my house phone on the other side. A funny predicament for a technophobe.
So, it has been a little while since I blogged, and I wondered if I needed to explain myself to those who read it. Of course, I don’t have to, but I want to. Just because. Because this blog is such a large part of who I am, and is still one of the dearest gifts I was ever given. And because Stephanie’s mom was starting to ask if I was okay.
Y’see, I am okay. I have just begun doing some extra freelance, writing work, which I absolutely love, but the last month has just been more than I anticipated. More creative than I expected – which is great, and I am working with a truly, lovely bunch of people. Couldn’t ask for anything better. And busier than usual (good grief, I hate to use that word) as my daughter and I navigated the preparing-to-go-to-college malarkey. It wasn’t complicated, it was just a lot. And a wee bit scattered.
With my daughter off to college, the freelance work fits perfectly into the newly opened gaps. But for the first time in a very long while, I am having to learn to balance my life all over again.
Normally, I adjust pretty easily – I might wobble around for a minute, but I right myself back into position, and move forward.This time, not so much. I naively thought that there would be no adjustment, but being a mom and juggling two creative jobs became a bit of a challenge. So, I found myself doing the only thing I knew how to do. Just going with it. I stopped trying to fit everything into my neat and organized idea of what I thought it should be. I had to believe that if I did the best I could, then it would all sort itself out. And it has. The fact that I am even writing this brings me so much happiness (and a welcome sigh of relief). Y’see, things always change. And as scary as change can be, it will happen again and again, often when you least expect it.
A friend once told me that it’s better to be a cork than a rock in the river of life. She was right. Digging our heels in and protesting doesn’t help anyone. It’s exhausting fighting against the current. So every now and then we have to remind ourselves how to float. We have to enjoy the delicious freedom of not knowing where we are going. We have to close our eyes, ignore the bossy voices, and allow ourselves to drift into the direction of wherever it is we need to be.
When the days feel too long, it’s okay to put our pajamas on at 6:30 pm. Not that I have done that yet, but I have dreamt about it. I have lovingly, carefully, made my bed in the morning. As I smooth the sheets down, I may even have fallen on top of their coolness for a few seconds, as I imagine the sheer bliss of turning them back over and climbing into the soft, warm comfort of bedtime. Because it’s okay to dream of bedtime. It’s okay to wonder what the heck we are doing. It’s okay not to have a five day plan, never mind a five year plan. It’s okay to eat a slice of smoked Gouda for dinner (standing at the open fridge) because you’re too tired to cook.It’s okay to just be who you are at this exact moment.
So, if you’re still reading, you might be wondering what this all has to do with design. I guess it doesn’t directly, but in many ways it could. Homes, like people, are happiest when they are allowed to develop at their own pace – slowly and organically. Transitional times can be uncomfortable and awkward. But, it’s really just a way of preparing us for the next step. If there is a change in the air, or life is feeling a little bit complicated, maybe it’s also time for you to let go of something for a little while. Do only what is important right this very minute …. and remember how beautiful it is to just float.
p.s. Thank you for reading – the blog will be back to normal next week 🙂
For more by Wendy and the Blue Giraffe, go to: http://www.thebluegiraffe.com/